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Yes, you can achieve a calm, civil divorce

When divorce comes to a marriage, both partners may respond in unexpected, volatile ways. Depending on each spouse's own previous experiences with divorce, the reasons for the divorce and many other factors, the process can get messy and ugly quickly.

Realistically, this does not make the divorce easier or necessarily more beneficial for either party. At the end of the day, divorces that get messy and ugly are only more difficult and hurtful, if anything. This goes double if the marriage involves children, who can carry the baggage of a nasty divorce for their entire lives.

If you see divorce approaching and hope to keep the process calm and simple, there is good news — it is possible to do this, but you must act quickly. You can seek out legal guidance that similarly values calm, professional divorces and enlist them to help you. An experienced attorney understands how to explain the whole divorce process to remove fear of the unknown and work with you to keep each step of the divorce civil and respectful. Sometimes simply knowing to ask for this kind of help is all you need to get started.

How to behave during divorce

If you want to keep your divorce calm, then you must make this a priority. There are numerous opportunities throughout a divorce for one spouse or the other to punish or provoke the other, so it is important to take a stance against this early.

Divorces are essentially the dissolution of a business relationship. While you may face divorce for any number of hurtful reasons, those reasons don't have to dictate your behavior.

To properly achieve a divorce, you and your spouse must decide how to fairly divide up your debts and your assets, as well as deal with parenting responsibilities and a custody agreement if you have children. Even if there is hurt in your relationship, you can still choose to dissolve your relationship in a civil way.

Avoid combative decisions

Many spouses go into survival mode when divorce is at the door. Not only does this make it more difficult to reach a fair settlement, it sometimes leads to inadvisable behavior, legally speaking.

Parents sometimes feel that they must run away with a child or claim that the other parent is abusive to secure sole custody. These choices carry potential legal consequences, and may cost a parent custody altogether or even result in charges.

Similarly, some spouses begin trying to hide money or spend it before the other spouse can stop them. While it is understandable why a desperate person may react this way, it is neither helpful nor legally wise. A judge who learns that a spouse attempted to hide funds from a divorce may not only penalize the spouse in the divorce settlement, but may serve him or her with criminal charges.

If you prioritize a calm, respectful divorce and seek out legal guidance with similar values, you can achieve the divorce you hope for on your way to a new season of life.

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